i'm so happy for you that, four years on, you're in this place of gratitude and clarity at all your life has become. i'm about 2.5 years post-breakup and i can tell you, it's shocking the truths that keep revealing themselves. zero regrets about what my relationship gave and taught me—but also zero desire to ever be back there. my ex was and is a good, decent man. but omg, so unaware of his own deep-seated patriarchal habits. as i was unaware how i abetted them. i'd like to believe (and mostly i do) that there's a meaningful, more equal relationship in my future. but if there isn't, i still wouldn't trade who i am now and what i know to settle for something less than i deserve.
This list! Oh my goodness. About to finalize my divorce after working through all the muck and confusion and grief for almost three years and the confusion and grief of finally moving out this spring. There is so so so so so so much unraveling of self, discovery, pain, truths, things I was in denial about, etc etc etc that keep bubbling up. At first the bubble was a gush, now it has slowed down (thank goodness). I am not the person I was when I decided I was done three years ago, not the person I was when I struggled for two years with the weight of the decision, and not even the person I was when I took the physical step this year.
I am constantly in motion, constantly getting closer to me. And I'm so eternally grateful.
Holy cow. The list at the end of this is so incredible. Every word of it.
i'm so happy for you that, four years on, you're in this place of gratitude and clarity at all your life has become. i'm about 2.5 years post-breakup and i can tell you, it's shocking the truths that keep revealing themselves. zero regrets about what my relationship gave and taught me—but also zero desire to ever be back there. my ex was and is a good, decent man. but omg, so unaware of his own deep-seated patriarchal habits. as i was unaware how i abetted them. i'd like to believe (and mostly i do) that there's a meaningful, more equal relationship in my future. but if there isn't, i still wouldn't trade who i am now and what i know to settle for something less than i deserve.
This list, published and bound, in the top drawer of every motel room in the world. Humanity solved.
This list! Oh my goodness. About to finalize my divorce after working through all the muck and confusion and grief for almost three years and the confusion and grief of finally moving out this spring. There is so so so so so so much unraveling of self, discovery, pain, truths, things I was in denial about, etc etc etc that keep bubbling up. At first the bubble was a gush, now it has slowed down (thank goodness). I am not the person I was when I decided I was done three years ago, not the person I was when I struggled for two years with the weight of the decision, and not even the person I was when I took the physical step this year.
I am constantly in motion, constantly getting closer to me. And I'm so eternally grateful.
Thank you for sharing this!